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Q*Bert

Original date:

March 31 2008

Run time:

5:02

Pre-Recorded:

April 1,2008 (Website)

Episode:

5

Season:

2

Games:

Q'Bert (NES)

Q*Bert Is 4th Episode Of Irate Gamer Season 2.

The long list of doublethink commited by The Irate Gamer can be seen here

SummaryEdit

Irate Gamer attempts an april fools joke even though there's nothing even remotely resembling an april fools joke especially when reviews like batalion wars which end abruptly and his long hiatus as well as his x-pac levels of heat (audiences tend to hate him more than critics do), would make this april fools joke seem more like regular content. Of course this would imply that Chris Bore's quality of work can be described as regular without resorting to designating the regular environment as some inner circle of hell or other biblical wreck. For example, this episode demonstrates the regular amount of humor that one may expect from the Irate Gamer show, regular in that it is as funny as being trapped within the sixth circle of hell. Of course if Chris Bores were to attempt an above average amount of work such as when he goes to take material from other reviewers, the humor goes to above regular as in improved humor comparable to that found in the eighth circle of hell. We must remember that regular is a relative term and that the environment to which regular is defined must be made apparent.

Chris Bores does the regular amount of work in reviewing Q*bert and reveals that his is an orange fat blob the few unsurprised non-feline members of the audience. Chris Bores attempts to read the complete idiots guide to Q*bert but comedy commited suicide and thus no laughs were had there either. Chris unfortunately survives the assasination attempt using his demonic powers. Michael Buckley has his soul drained and makes a force appearance but fortunately he continues life as normal. U.S and Russian intelligence organizations are confused as to how several air vehicles and anti-personnel equipment were mislocated.

High detail plot summaryEdit

264 bother6

Cats randomly pressing keyboard buttons tend to be the primary audience of Chris Bore's videos. We could assume children (physically or mentally) also watch Chris Bore's show, but they probably would have stopped watching after the constant 6 month long delays for 5 minutes of content.

Irate Gamer states that he has not made a review in over a month even though he has made a review within a month (although it was not a retro review). Chris Bores lies to the audience by saying that he will be fired if he does not make reviews within a monthly basis even though he has had six month long delays to produce content that has 5 hours of work in it at best. In addition the joke fails to impress the audience because the youtube audience is well acquainted with other youtube partners who produce incrediably bad content but are somehow still allowed to make money because their videos attract the brainless. Coincedentally, Chris Bores is subscribed to quite a few of these people. Chris Bores states that the game he is about to reivew, Q*bert will be familiar to people who were in arcades or had an atari 2600 and of course this makes no sense either since he didn't list a time period and if you were to go an arcade right now you'd probably be playing alien versus predator the beat em up or the really awesome light gun games they've got (in addition, owning a 2600 atari doesn't mean you've played Q*bert it just means you own the console). Another mistake that Chris Bores has made here is that he assumes that he mainstream audience, cats who randomly click on videos on youtube, will have played  Q*bert.

Chris Bores decides to waste the audience's time, assuming they didn't already fall asleep on the keyboard (cats tend to do that), by asking what Q*bert means. Chris suggests that looking up the name Q*bert brings up more questions than answers and cuts a picture of Q from star trek and Bert from sesame street. Perhaps if actual humor were involved, the audience may have laughed but sadly the cats do not get the reference.
Brick wall

If life could be summarized with metaphors, Chris would constantly be hitting the brick wall of reality. Its a shame that Chris Bores cannot find the door that is known as 'actual work'. Our best contributors are unable to figure out what the E stands for in this picture. Possible some sort of dysfunction in that region perhaps.

The Cats demonstrate their intelligence by replying that Q*bert is a pun on the name Hubert, the game's creator, by making the first syllable 'Cu' hence Cubert. Unfortunately cats do not speak english and while this video is rage inducingly bad, its not bad enough to warp reality or call in an alien task force to obliterate the last traces of humanity (like previous videos have done). 

Chris Bores beings to explain the premise of the game and the word explain is a quiet euphemism for not explaining. Chris Bores sees an enemy walking on the horizontal sides of cubes and states “Hey buddy! What do you think this is, an Escher painting? I don’t think so!” demonstrating his superior ability to do research and find out facts like "the initial concept began when artist Jeff Lee drew a pyramid of cubes inspired by M. C. Escher. Lee felt a game could be derived from the artwork". Since the audience is composed of Cats, half of them have clicked a new video while the others are pounding the keyboard and mouse in order to stop the video. Chris Bores then complains about the controls of the game even though he's allowed to set the controls for the game further demonstrating how well thought out this review was. Chris states that one would require a degree in the game's physics in order to play the game which makes sense because there was effort put into this review and it wasn't in the dialogue. Chris Bores attempts to read “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Q*bert” in order to better play the game but the guide is unhelpful as it includes a list of people who should not be allowed on the internet or allowed to play games and at the top of the list is Darksidephil followed by Chris Bores. The Chris Bores section of the book states "that Chris Bores is not a complete idiot, Chris Bores has an IQ of non-applicable. We are sorry Chris, we can't teach you, we're just a photoshop you made." followed by what appears to be a written gunshot sound and a blood splatter on the page. Chris Bores thought that the blood splatter formed a pretty butterfly and it distracted him from reading the words in the book. In addition the page also includes the IP address of Chris Bores and the IP address of his 'mother' ladybuggin777 and the two IP addresses coindentally match up.


Since Chris wasn't able to learn anything from the complete idiot's guide to Q*Bert, Chris Bores immediately steers Q*bert into an enemy thinking that the enemy was a powerup or a hooker. Chris Bores remarks that Q*bert starts “swearing worse than a video game reviewer” when he is killed further showing Chris Bore's lack of empathy that he just got someone killed and they're swearing because they angry about dying. Chris states that only the discs at the side of the level appear to kill enemies but fails to mention that the disks only do so when the snake character jumps off the pyramid at the same time Q*bert enters the disc. Chris Bores showing his non-applicable IQ and utter lack of empathy for the audience, attempts pointless humor and says the discs are as random as 'press your luck' the game show. This is surprisingly correct as both the disc from Q*bert and 'press your luck' were not random and the show almost went overbudget when contestants figured it out. A sketch ensues in which Chris Bore's suffers a THC hallucination where he attempts to play the game 'press your luck' but the game calls him a loser, no doubt in attempt to get Chris to LEARN. THC seems unable to teach Chris to learn unfortunately. Chris then gets annoyed at an enemy who reverses progress and starts a gaming montage because clearly that's worth doing a gaming montage over. Chris reveals his true identity as a orange inhuman being when his attempt to curse causes him to spout a chat box similar to what occurs when Q*bert dies. Chris complains that later levels in the game become more difficult and require more effort to complete because that is a feature in 99% of the game's he's played "for over 20 years" and knows "all the ins and outs of" and clearly gaming is for gamers and not freakish orange blobs.
Sniper-Cat-random-32283357-500-444

It is not known as to the exact details on how the assassination was carried out but eye-witnesses report that an armed assault team carrying several anti-personnel weapons such as an SVD-63 were seen firing on Chris Bore's position shortly before the area was demolished by an airstrike from several aircraft including an A-10 thunderbolt.

Chris Bores states that the review is over and says “What’s the worse they’re going to do, fire me?” and the show is abruptly canceled when a Russian and American kitten coalition assassinates Chris Bores for overuse predictable comedy. The last word that Chris Bores heard from the russian spetnaz sniper was "meow". The new show is called "The All New Irate Gamer Show” showing that Chris Bores resurrected himself using his demonic powers and is now ruling from the shadows using a puppet figurehead. Michael Buckley appears and tells video game gossip jokes but none of them are funny and the kitten coalition dissolves by order of hovercat.

TriviaEdit

  • Michael Buckley makes a guest appearance.
  • The video was posted on March 31,2008 (Mirroring Smosh's April First in 2007)
  • Smosh's Hot Robot Slave video Mirrors The Start & Ending but with RayWilliamJohnson.
  • This is a crossover episode with What The Buck.
  • The early drafts were going to have Ryan Higa.
  • The Irate Gamer reminds his viewers that he must release videos on a monthly basis lest YouTube fire him, which proves that the rapidly decreasing subscriber count on Bores' channel is just YouTube executives messing with him.

VideoEdit

Q*BERT game review The IRATE Gamer05:02

Q*BERT game review The IRATE Gamer

External linksEdit

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