| Predator | |
|---|---|
 | |
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Original date: |
17 April 2008 |
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Run time: |
8:22 |
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Season: |
2 |
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Episode: |
6 |
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Games: |
Predator (NES) |
Predator is the 17th episode of The Irate Gamer, in the episode, Chris Bores reviews Predator for NES.
The long list of doublethink commited by The Irate Gamer can be seen here
Plot summary[]
Irate Gamer accidentally consumes too much food and ends up stuck in his room again. To help him pass the time, he decides that plagarism is a fun hobby to pursue. Chris reveals that he hasn't passed the anal stage in freuds psychosocial stages and Chris attempts to win an oscar.
Irate Gamer also faces judgement from a predator. Will he be judged worthy for the hunt? Audiences are treated to a full display of Chris Bore's martial arts (author statement) wielded only by Grand Master Chris Bores. In this episode Chris will display the full might of "hypocritical pacifism" the martial art that has confounded many but has been mastered only by one!
High Detail Plot summary[]
After the standard intro which has now become known as "the 19 second warning you have to change the URL" Irate Gamer is seen in what
It is currently unknown why Chris Bores is unable to leave his room. But there are many popular theories.
appears to be a THC hallucinated Jungle. This jungle has posters phasing in and out of reality and one or two plastic roots that don't appear to be connected to trees. Viewers may wonder why Chris Bores cannot simply go outside as he has done in previous reviews but that would be impossible as the Earth was recently bombarded by an Alien attack force in previous episodes. Alternatively, Chris leaving his room and interacting with other people given his man-child personality and demonic powers would be catastrophic and horrific. Lastly, Chris may have had too many pizza slices that day and couldn't leave due to the tight boundaries of the door. Regardless of the reason why Chris is abhorrent of the outside world, Chris finds a predator NES game cartridge and promptly proceeds to attempt to defecate. This leads further credence to the idea that Chris Bores is simply too large to leave his room via the hole that is the door way because there is no other reason for Chris to attempt to poop while standing (as that is a much more difficult task) unless he was not able to access a toilet. Its possible that Chris could be angry, but THC would prevent that from being the case.
“Turning a Hollywood movie into a video game always spells disaster” says Chris Bores demonstrating how much of a gamer he is by using
IT is unknown why Chris continuously needs to steal from other people, but its clear why Chris's claim of having a Broadcasting degree from a college is clearly not taken seriously by anyone.
sterotypes and not bothering to list exceptions to this rule. Chris then says “This game isn’t just bad, it’s more like a shit taco with cow urine for a dipping sauce” thereby lending further credence to the idea that Chris is hungry and unable to leave the small sized doorway and in addition; more evidence that Chris Bores does not use toilet humor. Irate Gamer starts the game and complains that he does not have gun even though the front cover of the game shows the character with a gun. Chris does not mention the name of the character instead referring to the character as "Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character" and 'the Irate Gamer Shows Character' definitely doesn't mention the gun he can get in the tree to his left because reviewing is for reviewers. And so 'the Irate Gamer Shows Character' is forced to commit plagiarism as he takes direct phrases from another reviewer known as wizwar100 “So I guess I’ll have to beat these guys down with my FISTS OF FURY”. The words Fists of fury appear on the screen to help the illiterate viewers. 'Irate Gamer decides to state the obvious problem of using ones fists as a weapon “The worst thing about using your fists is that your attack range is limited”. Irate Gamer says the inability to crouch while punching is 'fustrating' even though he can simply get the machine gun or just jump over the enemies. It should be noted that Chris is attempting to punch a scorpion that is currently engaged in fleeing from his character. As per usual, its natural for Chris Bores to complain about his inability to kill creatures that only hurt him in self-defense while letting creatures that deliberately try to kill him go unabated.
Irate Gamer decides to complain about the fact that Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger's character in the predator) is colored pink. Chris decides to steal large portions of his complaints from Armake21 because being creative is for people who are small enough to leave their room via the doorway. Chris concludes that everthing is trying to kill Dutch because he is dressed in pink even though he have concluded that all the animals and people are acting in
Chris Bores was first seen constipated in the opening jungle sequence. Chris Bores constantly talks about ass and behaves like an ass. The audience may come up with their own conclusions
self-defence considering that they only attack when Dutch gets close and in physical contact with them. Chris finally admits there are weapons (hopefully before the audience has committed suicide) and decides to do so in a manner that completely rips off the work of Wizwar100 and Armake21. “What the shit muchacho?” says Chris, showing off his racial sensibilities and fluent understanding of how to be a douchebag. Chris talks about using the grenades as makeshift enemas “Or should I be saying these ‘pines’ suck ass? Ugh, whatever”. Chris complains that he only gets a gun in level 3 once again showing that he's played games "over a dozen times" and knows "all the ins and outs of" to the point that he does not know the location of weapons in predator on the NES. “How about giving me a boot so I could shove it up someone’s ass?” says Chris Bores because he hates having a gun that allows him to defend himself and showing that while anal fisting is disapproved, foot fisting is A-OKAY. It should be noted that the Irate Gamer has fixated a lot on the concept ass to the point that Chris Bores' show can be aptly described as 'ass'. At the beginning of this episode, Chris was seen constipated; with all the fixation on Ass its clear that the Irate Gamer is stuck in the anal stage of Freud's psycho-social stages.
Chris complains that weapons are taken away at the end of the level even though he hates the weapons because
Unfortunately, Chris Bores would never get an oscar.
consistency is for people who care and put work into their shows. The audience appears to have had enough however and have hired a predator to come kill Chris Bores. However this predator appears to be a lot more mellow and unskilled as it observed Chris from a few meters away. Wanting to win an Oscar Chris delivers a heartfelt THC induced awe-inspiring line “This game just keeps getting worse and worse” before staring at the camera as if to say "IF you don't give me that oscar I'll eat you". Unfortunately, the ploy failed. Chris complains about falling through platforming blocks as well as the fact that there are too many non-movie related enemies earning Chris some prestige points. Chris decides to immediately lose those points by saying that there should be cows and Richard simmons tapes as enemies. To add to Chris' consistency, he fails to mention that there are no cave scenes in the predator movie. Irate Gamer engages the predator boss of stage 4 and beats him, noting that the fists are terrible weapons are overrated even though Chris was the only idiot dumb enough to think one's fists are a good weapon. Irate Gamer complains that there are 10 more predators to kill and the predator appears continues to watch Chris in utter curiosity as to how terrible he can be. Irate states that he feels he is being watched even though the predator is in his face. '
Chris is fine with killing the defenseless but can only plead helplessly against those who actually want to kill him.
Chris then states “Over-jump your target, you fall down below. Under-jump your target, you fall down below. An enemy hits you, you fall down below” because no plagarism is complete without ripping off AVGN that guy who doesn't exist yet (aka hundreds of other people doing the same thing). Irate Gamer uses his demonic powers to warp his video game character through several video games finally going through in hell. This is to demonstrate to viewers that if Chris' poor gaming skills doesn't get you killed, then Irate Gamer will deliberately ensure your death using his demonic powers. “Well if we’re going to be honest, why not just call a few of these stages ‘Level PieceOfFuckingShit?’” says Chris Bores, demonstrating his Shakespearean levels of wit. Chris aptly displays his understanding of gaming when he describes the difficulty of destroying a barricade with “It would be a helluva lot easier if these enemies weren’t trying to kill me!”. Once again, Chris demonstrates the brand of pacifism he is known for, refusing to kill creatures that are actively attempting to kill him while happily killing creatures that don't want to kill him (or kill him out of self-defense only). Chris is so dedicated to this brand of morality that he has a montage of attempts in which he does not attempt to stop others from killing him. He even breaks his own controller than actually harm a being capable of defending itself.
The audience hired predator is firmly impressed and decides that Chris should get the "harmless" stamp of
The worst of Superboy-Prime!
Many comparisons can be made between Chris Bores and Superboy-Prime. Superboy-Prime is more than capable of killing every super powered character in his universe while Chris Bores is capable of defeating his enemies because apparently the universe does revolve around him. Superboy-Prime constantly thinks that he is cool even wasting critical time thinking about how cool he must look during an interogation while Chris also thinks himself to be the best reviewer (and paranormal investigator) on youtube and an inspiration to children. Superboy-Prime is always blaming others for his lack of foresight or ability to set realistic goals meanwhile Chris Bores is still acting as if AVGN is bullying him even when Chris went on the offensive and still wants to be best reviewer and paranormal investigator on youtube while putting in none of the thought and effort that would make that possible. It is a shame that both Chris and Super-boy Prime are both widely hated characters.
approval. The Predator fires the stamp of approval gun but Irate Gamer quickly dodges the attack. It should be noted that the gun that predator fires is not the killer gun from the movies as the shelf behind Chris is left unharmed meaning that the predator was likely just trying to mark him as harmless or as unworthy of being killed. Chris hungrily charges the predator as soon as the predator uncloaks and the predator lifts Chris by the neck in an attempt to incapacitate him (this can be seen by the fact that the predator doesn't simply stab Chris in the face with his claws). Irate Gamer has realized that the predator intends to do him no harm and so gains the courage to knee the predator in the stomach, knock the predator to the floor, execute the predator by blowing his head off with a gun while the predator lies uncharacteristically still on the floor. It should be noted that the predator would almost certainly activate its self-destruct mechanism but it didn't because Chris Bores was not a target worthy of being beheaded. In addition to completely shot for shot ripping off another reviewer, Chris has executed the predator who meant him no harm (as evidenced by the predator not using its super strength or various gadgets), thus showing who the real ruthless killing machine is, extremely poor writing.
Notable flubs[]
- 1:35 - "And to make the gameplay more fuh-strating,"
- 3:29 - "After you go through all the trouble of quirng your weapons"
Trivia[]
- Irate Gamer's biggest fan who quit in 2013 and is being impersonated by Chris Bores, Batdamn, came up with a creative name for the predator. "Preaditor" was the name batdamn creatively gave the predator character that appeared in this episode. It should be noted that Chris Bores has recently said that Batdamn "was taking a break" but has just recently proclaimed "He may have moved on to bigger and better things". Batdamn became very defensive and would use large volumes of swear words in an attempt to change the subject whenever the terms "preaditor" and "autism" were brought up in the same sentence. It is up to audience to decide what this information means
- The creator of the song Blind Pass has still not been credited
- Both Armakes21 and Wizwar100 were very displeased when they heard about Chris Bore's 'creative borrowing' of their work. AVGN did what he always did, ignore the Irate Gamer.
- Chris Bores stated that he is trained in martial arts and that he would show off his martial arts training in predator fight. The martial art known as "Hypocritcal pacifism" was a very effective martial art that catches honorable warriors off guard.
- A predator is an alien that is 8-9 feet tall, weighs 400 to 900 pounds and can punch with 4000 pounds worth of pressure. Chris Bores clearly went out of his way to depict the copyrighted predator properly in this review and many fans of the predator will notice the abilites and phyiscal traits of the predator being accurately depicted in this review. Such accuracy is on par with that of a non-rifled musket.
Video[]
External links[]
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